The new year is almost reaching the end of its first quarter. Many of us are finding ways to see ourselves and improve ourselves so that the right love finds us.
While love brings two individuals close, it’s also a journey into your own inner self and how you treat yourself through this journey.
It’s both about putting the best of you for another person and receiving the best of them. As we try to find our partner, we should build emotional intelligence and understand our feelings better. A healthy relationship always happens between two people who understand their own emotions and can act for the best of both.
Here are three advices to help.
1. Focus on Yourself
The best way to find someone else who’ll love you…? Nah, that doesn’t exist. Let’s face it. We find love in all weird scenarios, but most of them aren’t cinematic. But what you can take control of is yourself. When you have control over yourself, you attract others, and you know what it can lead to.
But what do you mean by focusing on yourself? I do yoga, hit the gym five days a week, play sports, watch movies, and attend concerts. Yeah, all that’s fine. But it’s more about loving yourself and focusing on your dream, including all those things I’ve just said.
It’s about being content and fulfilled with yourself. How do you expect others to be happy with you if you aren’t so? Dating isn’t a full-time job. Surely, it demands a lot of effort, but it’s also about finding love that grows with you and with time.
It shouldn’t have to derail you from all the other things in life, like your job, timely meeting your friends and families, and giving your hobby quick visits.
2. Your Partner isn’t a Glass Half Filled…
And you aren’t a bartender opening free bottles in happy hour. Don’t overwork for love. Most of the time, it’s not worth it. Nowadays, there’s a prevalent idea in society demanding us to love more than we can, give more than we should, and sacrifice more than possible.
When you put constant effort into proving yourself in love, you fall into a constant state of lack where you hardly receive love. You know the worst part? You’ll end up thanking the other person for loving you.
Love is all about reciprocation. It’s not about spending fortunes on expensive gifts or booking private jet kuwait for a luxury tour of the Middle East.
If you hold hands, your partner returns a hug. If you plan a surprise dinner, they return a heartfelt smile and hardly judge you for the 1145th time when you weren’t enough.
Love is just about giving as it is about taking you back to your own self.
It should make you feel content and fulfilled inside without making you feel like a slave on a leash. It should never put you in a state where nothing feels good.
So, choose reciprocation over a constant test of proving yourself.
3. Honor your boundaries
Think of this term: Personal Boundaries.
Now, imagine the solar system. All the planets have their own orbit, and they are circling around the sun maintaining a constant distance for eons. Some of these planets are close to the sun, some are far away.
You have to know the orbits of the different relations you have in life. That includes your long-lost ex or a newly found sweetheart.
These orbits or boundaries protect the peace and sacredness that keep you alive. Not only love, but boundaries are important in the family, among friends, and at workplaces as well.
Before you go ahead and submit, see if your work requires you to reply to emails before bed.
Know if your family sees you just for the role you play at home, and most importantly, see if living up to the status of a partner is overwhelming you or not.
The right boundaries set you up for the right type of relationships in all aspects of life, leading to the growth you want.
Final Words
This year is all about choosing yourself and finding the best in yourself. This includes every other aspect of dating. Before you spend your time, effort, emotions, spirit, and energy on another person, think for a moment what it will return. Most importantly, will it replace fulfillment with momentary joy?
See how much of the love you can actually internalize and how this new energy makes you feel.
